need another drink. this is the easiest way
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
