just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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