I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
