Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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