Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
