OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
