I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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