Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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