? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
