If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
