did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
