Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
