New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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