have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
