Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
