So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
