I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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