The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
