I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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