The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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