I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
