About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
