So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
