That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
