dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
50% drunk capacity currently
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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