After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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