she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
