the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I look better un-naked...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
