im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
