I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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