Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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