Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
