I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
don't judge my taste in strippers
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
