u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
