I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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