Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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