My liver just broke up with me...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
