you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
