He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
