fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
