If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
