i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
