How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
