There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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