it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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