So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
