oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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