I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
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