You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
