If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
