Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
