ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
